Life Begins Again …

My phoenix is continuing to rise above the dark regalia of widowhood, and color is in a dripping watercolor stage. A bit surreal and everything without definite form. I do love it, when compared to the abyss.

All of you have endured so much in this last year and a half as well. COVID has become enmeshed with the world we knew, and what now sits on each of our “plates of life endurance” is more than before.

My heart seeks to continue the light that is forming, and with that in mind I have reopened my little shop of stones. It brings on the sensation of life beginning again. I am grateful.

Bless each of you in this very moment, and as you embrace your own new beginnings.


Sunshine Blogger Award

sunshine-blogger-award-featured-imageWhat a lovely Christmas present. Thank you so much Ink ’em Down for nominating me! You are kind and more than dear. Do visit Ink ’em Down for a diverse blog filled with creative writing, science galore and delicious quotes.

The rules first:

  • Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog so others can find them.
  • Answer the questions asked by the blogger who nominated you. (Do not feel pressured to do this. Life is often without time. Where does it go?)
  • Nominate as few or as many bloggers as you like and ask them the same questions or create new ones.
  • Notify the nominees about it by commenting on one of their blog posts.
  • List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your post and/or your blog site.

Now answering Ink ’em Down‘s questions:

1. Pet peeve? Dishonesty

2. Panda or Penguin? Panda. I am all about content.

3. If dinosaurs still existed, which would you keep as a pet? And why? Microceratops, and only because its size MAY be manageable. 🙂

4. Personal mantra? Respect all.

5. Who was your best boss? A man that believed in me forty-five years ago and often stated I could do anything. His words roll about in my head to this day.

6. If you weren’t in the profession that you are/were, which profession would you have chosen? Artist

7. One piece of advice to people younger than you? View yourself through the day as an observer. Do you love the person you are watching?

8. British education or American education? American. It is the only education I have known. Sufficient in some areas and perfection in others. My opportunities to grow within it have been extraordinary.

9. A time when you were kind to someone. Ah … kindness … so much stronger when not spoken of.

10. Something related to health/wellness/fitness that you strongly advocate? My strongest advocacy would be toward wellness of the mind, and how that associates with health and fitness of the body. That said, wellness of the mind is commonly found in those who may not be visually “fit.” The most beautiful mind I ever encountered was honed on the anvil of chronically difficult experiences … living a life of acceptance and continuously rising above. We humans are wonders, and when such strength of mind is demonstrated … my heart sings.

11. If you could rid the world of one disease, what would it be? This has turned into a question my mind is running from. When life has been lived fully and with fair longevity, many diseases have been encountered, either in the caregiving process or self-experience. Many different forms of cancer, HIV/AIDS, heart disease, diabetes, etc. Each dreadful and worthy of being the primary one to be eradicated. I choose a form of cancer that may bring the patient’s pain to a place of non-response to morphine. They scream in agony with little to no reprieve. My choice is bone cancer.

*Curtains opening to reveal the nominees*

And the nominees are:

  1. seekthebestblog
  2. lifecameos

Questions for the nominees are:

1. How important is spirituality in your life?

2. Where does your happiness come from?

3. Do you feel the divine in others?

4. What are your perceptions of self?

5. How do you want to be remembered?

Have a good time with this, my nominees. If you have the time … take the time. If not, no worries. Just enjoy the award. ❤

Why am I Breathless?


Is it from hearing, “I don’t understand what love is and I may come to love you in time.”

Is it from that first high dive plunge?

Is it because you died?

Is it because sunset in the desert bleeds love from the sky?

Is it from the cacophony of disharmony spewing from the television?

Is it from the soft nuzzling of an animal touching your soul?

Is it from deep chasm guilt that blisters once more with no warning?

Is it from falling upward into the stars on a dark Wyoming night?

Is it from free-falling changes that color our sojourn here?

Is it from meadows of wildflowers on a zephyr kissed mountain?

Is it from childhood lost?


Is it from rising out of within and embracing without?

Is it from a mind full of laughter and family bonds?

Is it from finding the woman that IS me; gentle of spirit and She Bear on fire?

Is it from touching another and feeling reciprocation in light exchanged?

Is it from seeing my aging hands on the steering wheel … “Whose are THESE!?!

Is it from the fragile nature of life becoming still?

Is it from wonderment toward after living?


Am I breathing?

~erb 2018

In My Mind

I still

I still run carefree in bright wild-flowered meadows.

I still ride hair flying on thundering hooves.

I still call out to that which is Higher.

I still touch others then kneel from their gifts.

I still believe there is good in the world.

I still feel gratitude for all I have lived.

I still feel the touch of lips from first kisses.

I still smile with eyes of the girl there upstream.

I still feel the breathing from times of warm loving.

I still send my love based on swirling wellsprings.

I still know my actions have harmed on the way.

I still know forgiveness and hope spring eternal.

I still know that I cannot fix what needs fixing.

I still hear my father’s soft voice as he prayed.

I still know that life is a wheel for the spirit.

I still feel the rush of that walk on the dock.

I still know the sound of hot hardship a’knocking.

I still see the colors of struggles receding.

I still feel the bliss of a sweet wedding day.

I still know that loss has a sting without mercy.

I still feel the pain of a dear life lost fully.

I still know the glow of a miracle’s touch.

I still know my life is a dot on this planet.

I still know that each of us bleed just the same.

I still know that wrongs of our fathers still touch us.

I still feel the shame of it flow in my veins.

I still know we all walk this world path together.

I still feel love thriving in spite of the pain.

I still …

~erb 2018

River of Rage

Some years ago it was necessary to accept and embrace my personal beast within (an ongoing process) thereby bringing a level of balance to the whole. Diving deep and with words streaming onto paper without hesitation … it was a day of miracles, spirit gifting and strong healing.

Swift, deep and dark runs the River of Rage.
Bless me now,
    cleanse me with sweetgrass and sage.

Come, dear Grandfather and lend me your knee,
To sit ‘neath your wisdom while learning to see
– how the water roils down to the great cavern keep,
– where what lives there is sullen and never asleep.

Please tell me, Grandfather, in words warm with love,
How must I now raise this worn creature above?”
Grandfather sat tall in his old cane back chair,
‘side the window that looked on eternity there.


From my place at his knee, I looked into his face,
While his slow, quiet voice said, “It isn’t a race
– to bring up what lies in those caverns within,
– filled so richly with lessons the Medicine wins.

Be kind to it, child…the great beast living there,
For it feeds on what you send down river to share.”
I sat in the stillness, head still on his knee,
Feeling loved beyond words as he sat there with me.

His face was warm gold in the window’s soft glow,
And with rustle of skins, his hand raised toward me slow.
As he lifted my chin to look strong in his face,
He said, “Must you know more, child, while here in this place?”

“Grandfather, I must know one thing ‘fore I wander,
On back to my home, in that life over yonder.
Will it come with me willingly into The Wheel,
To confront and caress it, and bring it to real?”

Grandfather’s full love flowed warm down over me,
And I knew his next words would lead me more to see.

“Dive deeply, my child, in the River of Rage.
Swim strongly and free from the old mental cage
That envelops us, binds us, and holds us so taut,
When it needn’t be so, as it’s only for naught.

It waits for you there, in a way most surprising.
The love it feels for you is raw – no disguising.
This beast is so lonely, and wants to be with you,
To integrate, balance, and sing praise for rescue.

As you rise in the still-pool, within the dark keep,
Adjust to the dark – you will find it asleep.
But not so! For the glint of its eyes will bring light,
To this darkest of places, so far beyond night.

Red scales shine like fire licks, low glowing as embers.
Its wings rustle soft as it fights to remember.
The snarling that greets you is loud, long and strong.
Fear not, child, run toward it. You’ve done nothing wrong.

Midst stomping, fire-breathing and tail thrashing, too,
Burns a flame in its belly, a longing for you.
Climb swift on its body, ride high on its back,
Wrap your arms ‘round its neck, steer its head toward the track.

Toward the still-pool you entered, you both must take flight.
You’ll know it succumbs when its scales cool to white.
Slide into the still-pool, merge quick with the River.
Push hard and break water to see the great sliver.

Grandmother Moon shines on The Medicine Wheel.
The goal for both travelers to rest, share and heal.

The large, lonely beast rises slow from the deep.
Curled warm in the wing down, the warrior’s asleep.
Dirge walking, exhausted, its scales glistening white,
It centers itself in The Wheel, on this night.

On waking, the warrior finds joy in the knowing,
The center is won, and the Sacred Fire’s glowing.
Ancestors are present, the Council is High,
Much work to be done, child, for morning is nigh.”

Swift, deep and dark runs the River of Rage.
Bless me now,
    cleanse me with sweetgrass and sage.

~erb 2010